Toxic Work: How Bad Culture Destroys Lives and Companies

Ever felt that Sunday dread creeping in—not because the weekend’s ending, but because Monday means stepping back into a workplace that drains you?

You’re not alone. Millions of people spend their weeks navigating office politics, dodging micromanagers, or bracing themselves against subtle (or not-so-subtle) bullying.

Toxic cultures aren’t rare—they’re rampant. And they don’t just kill morale. They wreck mental health, drive up turnover, and quietly destroy performance from the inside out.

According to Gallup, bad management is the top reason people quit. And nearly 1 in 5 workers say they’ve left a job because the culture was just too toxic to endure.

In this post, we’ll dig into:

• What toxic workplaces do to your mind and body
• Why they cost businesses more than they realise
• How to spot the early warning signs
• What great leaders do differently
• And if you’re stuck in one—how to protect yourself

Let’s start with the real question: What’s the price we’re all paying for toxic work?

For Employees: The Human Cost of Toxicity

A toxic workplace can break you.

We’re talking anxiety that doesn’t switch off, sleep that never comes, and a creeping sense that maybe you are the problem (when you are not).

Here’s how the damage shows up:

A. Mental burnout isn’t just a buzzword

When your job constantly feels like a threat—where you’re bracing for criticism, public takedowns, or random punishment—it keeps you in survival mode. You’re not thinking, creating, or growing. You’re just trying to get through the day.

And when that becomes your everyday reality, anxiety isn’t a phase—it’s a condition. Many spiral into full-blown depression, especially when they feel stuck with no way out.

The World Health Organization found that people working in abusive environments are three times more likely to suffer from depression. That’s not a coincidence. That’s cause and effect.

B. Your body pays for it too

Toxic workplaces can take a toll on your body too. The connection between chronic stress and physical illness isn’t just theory anymore. It’s backed by years of research and lived experience for millions.

First to go? Your sleep.

When work leaves you tense, on edge, or constantly second-guessing yourself, sleep becomes a struggle. Anxiety doesn’t clock out. You lie awake replaying conversations, sifting through messages on your phone, bracing for the next blow-up, or just unable to switch off.

Over time, that leads to full-blown insomnia, fatigue, and a wrecked immune system. You get sick more often. You stay sick longer. And every day starts to feel like a slog.

Then it hits your heart—and more.

This isn’t just being tired. It’s damage you can’t shake off.

A 10-year Stanford study found workplace stress can be as harmful as secondhand smoke. Think about that. Just being in a toxic environment can put your body under constant pressure—raising your risk of:

• Heart disease by 40% (American Heart Association)
• Stroke by 50% (Harvard School of Public Health)
• Autoimmune disorders like lupus and rheumatoid arthritis, thanks to long-term inflammation caused by stress

Your body can only stay in fight-or-flight for so long before something breaks.

And still—you show up

Here’s the irony. In the most toxic cultures, people often don’t feel safe calling in sick. They come in anyway, heads pounding, energy drained, just trying to survive the day.

This is called presenteeism—being at work, but far from well. Productivity drops, recovery stalls, and no one wins.

As Jeffrey Pfeffer says in Dying for a Paycheck: “Some companies are literally making people sick.”

And the worst part? It’s preventable.

For Companies: The Financial and Cultural Fallout

Let’s drop the idea that toxicity is just an “HR issue.” It’s a full-blown business risk. The kind that drains your top talent, kills innovation, and poisons your brand from the inside out.

A. High Turnover: When the Best People Walk First

Here’s the harsh truth: the people you want to keep are the ones who leave first. They won’t tolerate a toxic culture—and they know they have options.

Every time someone walks out, it costs you. . SHRM estimates that replacing a single employee runs between 50% and 200% of their annual salary. That’s not just recruitment fees—it’s lost momentum, lost knowledge, and a team that’s now more stressed than before.

To put this into perspective, toxic workplace culture cost U.S. companies $223 billion in turnover over just five years. That’s the equivalent of the entire GDP of Algeria, Africa’s fourth-largest economy in 2024.

And those who stay? Many check out. Why go the extra mile when the culture rewards blame, bullying, or burnout?

B. Poor Performance and Innovation Stagnation

Toxic cultures don’t just make people unhappy—they shut people down.

In fear-driven workplaces, nobody wants to speak up. People stop pitching bold ideas. They stop challenging bad ones to play it safe. They keep their heads down.

Robert Sutton nailed this in The No Asshole Rule—hostile cultures breed:

• Groupthink: Nobody pushes back, even when something’s clearly off
• Silent disengagement: People do just enough to not get fired
• Sick systems: Dysfunction becomes the norm, not the exception

When fear takes the wheel, creativity isn’t just stifled—it disappears.

C. Reputation Damage: Scaring Away Talent and Customers

Toxic workplaces don’t stay hidden. Not anymore.

A few bad Glassdoor reviews, a LinkedIn post from a frustrated ex-employee—and suddenly your employer brand takes a nosedive. The best candidates won’t apply. Clients get wary. Partners pull back.

HRZone Magazine reports that 86% of job seekers avoid companies with bad reputations. And if customers catch wind of chaos behind the scenes? They’ll take their business elsewhere. Nobody wants to work with a sinking ship.

Societal Impact: The Ripple Effect of Toxic Workplaces

The damage of a toxic workplace doesn’t stay contained within four walls. It follows people home—and it spreads further than we often realise.

A. Strained relationships start to crack

In the UK, 1 in 9 people going through a divorce or breakup say pressure from work played a role. And it doesn’t stop there—nearly 80% said the separation affected their ability to work, and 60% said it hit their mental health hard, triggering anxiety, depression, or stress.

The truth is, when work drains you, your relationships pay the price. You’re not present. You’re short-tempered. You’re carrying stress into spaces that should feel safe.

B. Economic Burden is high

In 2023, poor mental health at work cost the UK economy £102 billion. Just stress and burnout alone racked up £28 billion and led to over 23 million lost working days. Thats nearly the same as the UK’s entire defence budget for 2023 (£50 billion)-twice over.

C. It teaches the wrong lessons

And here’s the long-term problem: when toxic workplaces go unchecked, they start to feel normal. People learn to tolerate bad behaviour, stay silent when mistreated, or assume power means control. Those patterns don’t stay at work. They spill into friendships, families, and future jobs.

Left unchallenged, toxicity multiplies. It shapes how people lead, how they communicate, and how they treat others.

Why People Quit: Bad Bosses Break Great Teams

It’s not the company they’re running from. It’s the manager.

A 2023 MIT Sloan study found that 57% of employees quit their jobs specifically to get away from toxic leadership. That’s more than pay. More than perks. More than the job itself.

So what makes bad management so unbearable that people would rather risk unemployment than stay?

A. The Micromanagement Trap: When Control Cripples Trust

Micromanagement drains morale and stalls performance.

• Performance drops by 68% when employees feel overly controlled (Harvard Business Review)
• Stress levels jump 73% under micromanaging bosses (APA)
• And 89% of top performers start looking for a new job (LinkedIn Workforce Report)

When leaders can’t let go, they send a clear message: “I don’t trust you.” And that’s a fast track to disengagement.

Real talk: At a major tech company, a team of engineers started quietly inserting minor bugs into their code. Not because they were sloppy—but because their manager rewrote everything anyway. “If he’s going to redo my work no matter what,” one engineer said, “why bother getting it right?”

B. The Fear Factor: When Safety Disappears, So Does Innovation

Without psychological safety, even the best talent holds back.

As Amy Edmondson puts it in The Fearless Organization, teams thrive when people feel safe to speak up, admit mistakes, and take risks without fear of being punished. But in toxic environments, that safety disappears fast.

And bad managers are often the reason why.

They shut it down by:

• Punishing honest mistakes—so people start hiding them
• Dismissing concerns—“You’re being too sensitive”
• Turning teammates into rivals instead of building trust

The result? People go quiet. And silence is expensive.

Google’s Project Aristotle and Harvard Business School both found the same thing: when psychological safety is low, people stop sharing ideas, flagging issues, or admitting when something’s gone wrong.

Gallup’s 2017 UK study backs it up—only 3 in 10 employees felt their opinions mattered at work. That’s not just a missed opportunity. It’s a warning sign.

C. The Favouritism Fallout: When Trust Walks Out the Door

Few things kill morale faster than unfair treatment. When people see bias in who gets promoted, praised, or protected, trust breaks-and once it’s gone, it’s hard to win back.

A 2022 Gartner study found that when employees perceive unfairness, their likelihood of quitting jumps by 47%.

Here’s what that looks like on the ground:

• Promotion politics: Over half of employees say they’ve seen less qualified “favourites” get ahead (SHRM).
• Workload dumping: High performers often report taking on significantly more work-with no extra pay or recognition.
• Rules for some: When policies shift depending on who’s involved, resentment builds fast.

Real talk: A sales team watched as an underqualified relative of the CEO was fast-tracked for promotion. Within months, many top producers left, taking millions in client accounts with them.

D. The Missing Stair Paradox: Why Companies Protect Toxic High-Performers

Every workplace has one—that person everyone quietly works around. The “brilliant prat” who brings in big numbers but leaves chaos in their wake.

Leadership knows they’re a problem. But instead of dealing with it, they adjust. Just like a huge crack on the floor—you learn to step over it, warn newcomers, and carry on. Until it’s too late.

The cost of keeping them? Massive.

• Toxic culture is the single strongest predictor of employee turnover, making employees over 10 times more likely to leave compared to compensation issues (MIT Sloan)
• Toxic employees make their teammates 54% more likely to quit, leading to substantially higher hiring and replacement costs (Cornerstone OnDemand)
• The presence of toxic managers or high-performers erodes psychological safety, undermines team performance, and damages employee well-being, morale, and engagement

E. The Silent Killers: How Toxic Managers Isolate and Undermine Their Teams

This is one of the most dangerous kind of workplace damage—the kind that leaves no evidence but slowly drains your confidence, credibility, and sense of belonging.

The Invisible Wall: When Information Becomes a Weapon

1. The Bureaucratic Black Hole

You stop getting meeting invites. Your name drops off email threads. Decisions are made about your work in rooms you’re never invited into.

At first, you assume it’s a simple mistake. But the signs stack up:

• That calendar invite that never arrived
• The Slack channel you quietly lost access to
• A critical project update that everyone received—except you

It’s not forgetfulness. It’s deliberate. It’s silence as strategy.

2. The Setup to Fail

You’re given vague tasks with no context. Deadlines shift without notice. Feedback is withheld until it’s too late to act on it.

And when things go wrong?

• “We thought you knew!” (They made sure you didn’t.)
• “Why didn’t you ask?” (They’re never around to answer.)

It’s professional sabotage dressed as “just a miscommunication.”

3. The Social Freeze-Out

Bit by bit, they make you invisible:

• New hires aren’t introduced to you
• You’re never mentioned in public praise
• Your work disappears from all-hands updates

The message isn’t loud, but it’s clear: You don’t belong here.

Why This Hurts More Than a Blow-Up

• The Uncertainty Eats You Alive
  • With an aggressive manager, at least you know where you stand. This? It’s slow, quiet erosion.
    • You start second-guessing everything:
    • “Am I imagining this?”
    • “Maybe if I just work harder, they’ll include me again…”

• It Makes You Look Incompetent—By Design
  • You miss key deadlines. You make the wrong calls because you’re working with outdated information. But to everyone else, it looks like your fault. That’s the genius—and cruelty—of it.

• It’s the Perfect Power Play
  • This tactic leaves no trace:
    • No raised voices
    • No written complaints
    • Just enough plausible deniability to make you seem paranoid

Meanwhile, your confidence erodes. Quietly, steadily. And when things finally break—either you walk away, or they point to your “performance” as the reason.

F. The Bait-and-Switch: When Managers Pull the Rug Out From Under You

There’s a special kind of cruelty in making someone believe they’re soaring—only to cut their wings mid-flight.

These managers don’t just stab you in the back. They first convince you to turn around and present your back to them willingly.

The Psychological Trap: How They Hook You

Phase 1: The Love Bombing

• “You’re our star performer!”
• “We couldn’t do this without you.”

There’s applause, visibility, vague promises. But nothing concrete changes—no raise, no title, no real commitment. Just enough dopamine to keep you hopeful. It’s emotional investment without accountability. And it works.

Phase 2: The Strategic Blind Spot

You’re told you’re doing great—but the reward never arrives.

• That promotion? “Next quarter,” every quarter
• Your performance review is glowing, but your pay bump is negligible
• You’re handed stretch projects, but not the title to match

And when you start asking questions?

• “Let’s revisit this after the busy season.”
• “You’re close, just not quite there yet.”
• “These things take time.”

The goalposts keep moving—but subtly, and always just out of reach.

Phase 3: The Sudden Pivot

Then, without warning, the tone shifts.

• “We’ve got concerns about your performance.”
• “You’re not quite leadership material.”
• A Performance Improvement Plan lands in your inbox—completely out of the blue

You’re left stunned. Yesterday you were high-potential. Today you’re at risk.

That’s the real manipulation: the emotional whiplash. It’s not just about undermining your role—it’s about destabilising your sense of self. Faith and trust in your manager erodes and you park up and leave.

G. Gaslighting: when you start doubting your own reality

It erodes your sense of reality. It rarely starts with shouting. More often, it’s subtle—and that’s what makes it so damaging. Over time, toxic managers and coworkers chip away at your confidence with quiet manipulations.

They deny what happened: “That never happened.” They shift the blame: “You’re too sensitive.” They mask abuse as generosity: “You should be grateful we hired you.”

At first, it’s confusing. Then it becomes paralysing. You start second-guessing your memory, your reactions, even your worth. What you’re experiencing is gaslighting—and in a toxic culture, it’s very common.

Eventually, you stop speaking up. You tell yourself you’re overreacting. You push harder to prove your worth—all while carrying the weight of self-doubt. That’s how imposter syndrome creeps in. And over time, it traps you—because you start to believe the problem isn’t the culture. It’s you.

This is how toxic workplaces win. Not by shouting people down—but by quietly convincing them they don’t have a voice.

As Robert Sutton writes in The Asshole Survival Guide, the worst environments don’t just break people—they convince them they were broken to begin with.

The High Cost of Toxic Brilliance: How One Bank Paid the Price for a Star Performer’s Fall

In 2015, a London bank faced a dilemma. Their star regional manager, Mr. S, delivered stellar numbers—quarterly profits climbed, leadership applauded him as a golden child.

Behind the scenes? A different story. By late 2016, rumors of his behavior spread: public humiliation of staff, stolen credit, ignored compliance red flags. Three top department heads quit within a year, citing toxicity and reckless target-chasing.

The board wavered. His division outperformed; they shrugged off the fallout as “the price of excellence.” Then, early 2017, an audit exposed the truth—breaches, customer complaints piling up. Regulatory probes followed. Fines. A CEO’s public apology.

Mr. S exited mid-2017. Damage lingered: a year to rebuild the team, salvage client trust. The kicker? Under a new, collaborative leader, the division’s performance surpassed its past “glory.”

The Psychology of Endurance: Why Employees Stay Too Long

Why do smart, capable people put up with toxic managers for years? From the outside, it’s hard to fathom. But beneath the surface lies a web of deeply human psychology—biases, fears, and rationalisations that keep people stuck far longer than they should be.

A. The Sunk Cost Trap

We tell ourselves we make rational career decisions. That we weigh the pros and cons, assess opportunities, and move forward with clear-eyed logic.

But here’s the uncomfortable truth: We don’t leave bad jobs because we can’t stomach the idea of wasted time.

We stay because walking away feels like admitting we were wrong. Because we’ve already given too much—too many late nights, too much emotional labor, too many sacrifices—to quit now.

And so we bargain with ourselves:
“Maybe if I just hold on a little longer…”
“I’ve already put in five years—what’s one more?”
“If I leave now, all that effort was for nothing.”

Why We Get Stuck

1. The “I’ve Come Too Far” Delusion

• The more time you invest, the harder it is to walk away—even when the job is actively harming you.
• Median U.S. job tenure is 4.1 years (BLS, 2022). That’s nearly 1,500 days of convincing yourself “It’ll get better.”
• Like a bad relationship, we confuse longevity with value.

2. The Promotion Mirage

• “If I just get to Director, then I’ll be happy.”
• Except: Promotions in toxic cultures are just bigger cages.
• Research shows title bumps don’t fix bad environments—they just give you more responsibility in the same dysfunctional system.

3. The Golden Handcuffs of Expertise

• Niche skills = perceived job security… and paralysing fear.
• “What if my experience doesn’t transfer?”
• So we stay, trading mental health for the illusion of safety.

The result? Toxic workplace culture is widespread. Three in four UK employees say they’ve experienced it—and over 60% have left a job because of it. These psychological traps are real. But so are the long-term costs to well-being and career progression.

B. Network Lock-In: The Social Capital Dilemma

We’re social creatures at our core, and the workplace often fulfils more than just financial needs. It gives us community, purpose, and connection.

It’s no surprise, then, that over 75% of employees say they have a close friend at work—and for many, those relationships are one of the biggest reasons they stay, even when things aren’t ideal.

In tough environments, people often hold on for the sake of a trusted mentor or a strong support network.

And in close-knit industries, there’s still a lingering fear of being seen as a “job hopper.” That label carries weight—especially for women and minorities, who are often judged more harshly for moving on.

C. Normalisation of Dysfunction: The Boiling Frog Syndrome

Toxic workplaces rarely feel toxic all at once. They wear people down slowly. Like the frog in the boiling water, employees often adapt bit by bit to worsening conditions—until dysfunction becomes the new normal.

Over time, we start rationalising: “At least it’s better than my last job,” or “Everyone in this industry has it rough.” These comparisons blur the line between difficult and unacceptable.

There’s also survivorship bias at play. When others stick it out, it creates the illusion that things aren’t that bad—forgetting that the ones who left, burned out, or broke down aren’t there to tell their side.

These psychological traps help explain why so many stay too long, even when the toll on wellbeing and performance keeps rising.

D. Cognitive Dissonance: The Mental Gymnastics That Keep Us Stuck

When reality clashes with self-perception, we do all sorts of mental gymnastics to make it fit. In toxic workplaces, that often means turning inward instead of questioning the system.

Rather than recognising poor leadership, many professionals convince themselves they just need to work harder, communicate better, or “toughen up.” The pressure becomes self-imposed.

In fact, 52% of employees say internal pressure is one of the main reasons they overwork—even when the problem lies elsewhere.

Toxic managers often feed this dynamic. They exploit moments of self-doubt, amplifying Impostor Syndrome. Instead of asking “Why is this being managed so poorly?” people think, “Maybe I’m just not good enough.”

Then comes the cycle—what I call hope looping:

• “Things are getting better” (after a minor improvement)
• “It’s not that bad” (during a quiet stretch)
• “I can’t do this anymore” (after yet another blow-up)

And so it repeats. Until something breaks.

E. The Escape Calculation: Why Leaving Feels Impossible

It’s not just about walking out the door. The decision to leave a toxic job is shaped by a tangle of practical and emotional barriers that weigh heavily—often more than people realise.

Financial fear dominates.

54% of employees stay in toxic roles out of fear of losing health coverage (Kaiser Family Foundation). While that’s specific to the U.S., the theme applies globally—money worries make even the worst environments feel safer than the unknown.

There’s also the quiet anxiety that your skills have slipped.

In dysfunctional teams, professional development often grinds to a halt. Over time, you start to wonder: “Have I fallen behind?” It’s a cruel irony—your growth was stifled, but you’re the one who feels inadequate.

Then comes the exhaustion of leaving.

When you’re already depleted, the idea of refreshing your CV, writing cover letters, and prepping for interviews can feel overwhelming.

One survey found employees in toxic jobs take up to three times longer to get application-ready (CareerBuilder). The emotional bandwidth just isn’t there.

All of this feeds into a powerful sense of inertia. Not because people want to stay—but because leaving feels like a mountain they don’t have the energy to climb.

Good Leadership Isn’t Complicated (But Most Companies Still Get It Wrong)

Let’s be honest—no one’s quitting because there’s no kombucha on tap or the beanbags aren’t ergonomic enough.

People leave when leadership gets the basics wrong.

After years of observing, documenting, and living through toxic environments, one thing stands out:
People will tolerate tough workloads if they feel respected. They’ll go above and beyond for managers who see them, listen, and back them.

It’s not about perks or polished values decks. It’s about how people are treated—day in, day out.

So let’s ditch the corporate Jargon and focus on what actually matters.

Psychological Safety: The Non-Negotiable

Most workplaces punish vulnerability.

They talk about “innovation” but shut down dissent.
They preach “accountability” but punish honest mistakes.
They hire for “diversity of gender, colour and thought” but promote the safest voices in the room.

That’s why Amy Edmondson’s work on psychological safety matters.
It’s more than an academic theory. One that shows us why so many teams underperform, burn out, or break down.

Why Most Companies Fake It

Corporate mission statements love words like “openness” and “trust.” But watch what happens when:

• A junior spots a mistake in an exec’s report
• Someone challenges a quarterly target
• A team flags that the timeline just isn’t realistic

Suddenly, the hierarchy snaps back into place. The message is clear: speak up at your own risk.

This is exactly why Amy Edmondson’s research unsettles weak leadership—it shows that what’s often framed as “high standards” is just fear-based control in a nicer outfit.

Her work surfaces a hard truth:
The more power is concentrated at the top, the more dangerous honesty becomes.

• Middle managers stop sharing bad news
• Frontline teams sugar-coat the truth to avoid blame
• Execs start believing their own filtered reports

The result? What Edmondson calls strategic ignorance—where organisations quietly reward keeping leadership comfortably misinformed.

What Psychological Safety Actually Looks Like

1. “I Screwed Up” → “Let’s Fix It”

• In toxic cultures: The first question is, “Whose fault is this?” Then comes the blame game.
• In safe cultures: The question is, “What did we learn?” Then the team moves forward, together.

2. “I Disagree” → “Thanks for Speaking Up”

• In toxic teams: People nod in meetings, then vent in private DMs.
• In safe teams: Debate happens out in the open. The best idea wins—not the loudest voice

3. “I Don’t Know” → “Let’s Find Out Together”

• Toxic environment: Faking competence to survive
• Safe environment: Intellectual humility rewarded

What Really Drives Top Performers

1. Mastery: The Drive to Get Better

We’re wired to crave progress.
It’s why people stay up all night levelling up in games or obsessively tracking steps on a smartwatch.

But in many jobs, that sense of progress disappears:

• Busywork with no real skill development
• A “just follow the playbook” culture
• Feedback that shows up once a year—if at all

How good leaders change the game:

• Set clear competency milestones—not just task quotas
• Create “level-up” moments: leading a client call, mentoring a junior, shipping something solo
• Celebrate how the work is done, not just whether it’s finished

2. Purpose: The Burnout Buffer

The fastest way to kill motivation?
“Because I said so.”

Purpose doesn’t need to be grand. But it does need to be clear.

Instead of empty directives, great leaders explain:

• Why this matters to the customer
• Why it helps the team succeed
• How it connects to the bigger mission

When people understand the why, they’ll take more ownership of the how.

The NASA Janitor and the Real Power of Purpose

Early 1960s. NASA is deep in one of the most ambitious missions ever: putting a man on the moon. Engineers are crunching numbers. Scientists are pushing the limits of physics.

And somewhere in that chaos, a janitor is quietly mopping the floor.

When JFK visits and asks, “What are you doing?”—you’d expect a basic answer. Something like, “Just cleaning.”

But the janitor looks up and says,
“I’m helping put a man on the moon.”

Real or not, the story sticks for a reason. It captures something we forget too easily: when purpose is clear, work becomes meaningful.

This wasn’t about mops or moon dust. It was about feeling part of something bigger. NASA didn’t just hand out job descriptions—they connected every role to the mission. That’s what great leadership does: make the work matter.

And when people understand why their work matters—really matters—they show up differently.

They care more.
They push through harder problems.
They stop thinking “Is this in my job description?” and start asking “What will move us forward?”

In today’s workplaces, that kind of purpose isn’t just a bonus—it’s a buffer. Against burnout. Against disengagement. Against high performers quietly checking out.

Because people don’t want busywork. They want their work to mean something.

3. Autonomy: The Trust Dividend

Micromanagement kills productivity and It’s what happens when:

• Leaders mistake control for competence
• Systems reward activity instead of results

Real autonomy looks very different:

• “Here’s the goal. You’ve got the budget. Let me know if you hit a wall.”
• No constant nose breathing behind check-ins unless you’ve both agreed it is needed
• Mistakes aren’t punishable—they’re part of how people learn

It’s not hands-off. It’s high-trust. And that trust is what unlocks real performance.

4. Flexibility and Trust

The best leaders judge by results—not hours logged at a desk. Remote work isn’t a perk; it’s a signal of trust. When employees control how and when they work (within reason), productivity and satisfaction soar.

5. Fair Compensation and Career Growth

Yes, people want pay that reflects their value—but they also want a path forward. Promotions shouldn’t be political; they should be clear, merit-based, and frequent enough to keep talent from looking elsewhere.

As Marcus Buckingham writes in First, Break All the Rules:

“People don’t change that much. Don’t waste time trying to put in what was left out. Try to draw out what was left in.”

Great managers don’t force employees into molds—they help them grow into their strengths.

What to Do If You’re Stuck in a Toxic Workplace

You’ve spotted the signs. The Sunday dread. Tiptoeing around your boss. Watching good people walk out the door one by one.

Whether you’re buying time or planning your exit, here’s how to stay sane and regain control.

For Employees: Protect Yourself First

1. Set Boundaries Before You Burn Out

Toxic environments feed on guilt and silence. Push back early.

• Push back on unreasonable timelines:
  “I can take this on, but it’ll delay X. Should we reprioritise?”
• Switch off after hours—unless it’s genuinely urgent.
• Don’t “check in” during your holiday. PTO means time off. Full stop.

If you’re being punished for basic boundaries, that’s not a job—it’s a warning sign.

2. Document Everything

Receipts matter. If the situation escalates, vague feelings won’t help you—specifics will.

• Save emails, Slack messages, and notes from meetings—especially if something feels off (gaslighting, credit-stealing, subtle digs).
• Look for patterns: Is your manager rewriting history? Blaming you? Cutting you out of wins?

HR won’t act on “My boss is toxic.” They need facts.

3. Build a Support System

You need perspective—because toxic cultures distort it.

• Inside the org: Quietly find allies—people who see what you see.
• Outside: Lean on trusted friends, a coach, or a therapist.

You need people who remind you: This is not normal.

4. Decide: Can This Be Fixed? Or Is It Time to Go?

You’ve got three options—be deliberate about which one you’re choosing.

• Fix: If you genuinely trust leadership, ask for a candid conversation. Frame it around wanting to improve things, not venting.
• Wait: If you’re close to a key milestone (promotion, vesting, mat leave), build a survival plan to get through the next few months.
• Leave: If your mental health is tanking, don’t wait. Start looking now. You don’t owe loyalty to a job that’s breaking you.

As the saying goes: You can’t heal in the place that made you sick.

For Companies: How to Fix a Toxic Culture (Before It’s Too Late)

1. Run Anonymous Surveys—Then Do Something With Them
Don’t ask soft questions. Go straight to the root:

• “Do you trust leadership?”
• “Have you witnessed or experienced bullying?”
• “Do you feel safe giving honest feedback?”

And don’t bury the findings. Share what you learn. Show what you’ll do.
Because nothing destroys credibility faster than a survey that vanishes into silence.

2. Train Leaders—or Replace Them
Toxic cultures usually have a common denominator: poor management.

That doesn’t always mean bad intentions—most managers simply haven’t been trained to lead.

• Teach EQ, not just KPIs.
• Equip managers to deal with conflict—early and directly.
• Give feedback training that goes beyond annual reviews.

But let’s be clear: some people don’t need coaching—they need to go.
No high-performer is worth three others quitting. No title justifies a trail of burned-out teams.

3. Redefine What ‘High Performance’ Actually Means
Your metrics drive your culture. If you only reward output, don’t be surprised when collaboration dies.

• Recognise team impact, not just individual wins.
• Celebrate those who coach others, not just those who hit targets.
• Promote people who make the room better—not just louder.

Because if your heroes are bullies with good numbers, you’re telling everyone else to either tolerate abuse or leave. And the best ones will.

Bonus: 10 Questions That Expose Toxic Culture

Most companies run engagement surveys like it’s a compliance exercise—fluffy questions, vague metrics, and no real consequences.

“Do you feel valued here?”
“Would you recommend this workplace to a friend?”

Here’s the problem:

• Fearful employees lie
• Managers spin the results
• And nothing changes

If you really want to understand whether your leadership culture is healthy—or quietly corrosive—skip the PR gloss and ask these questions instead.

Anonymously. No retaliation. No sugar-coating.

The 10-Point Stress Test for Real Leadership

1. Do you know exactly what “good performance” looks like in your role?
(Clarity Check)

Red flag: “Keep my manager happy” or “Don’t get yelled at”

Green flag: “Hit these three clear, measurable goals”

2. When was the last time you learned something here that excited you?
Growth Check

• Red flag: “During onboarding”
• Green flag: Recent examples of real skill development—not just new tasks

3. Have you ever held back feedback because you feared the consequences?
Psychological Safety Check

• Red flag: More than 20% say yes
• Green flag: “No—even when it was hard to say”

4. Does leadership openly acknowledge mistakes or failure?
Accountability Check

• Red flag: “They reframe failures as vague ‘learning moments’ without owning anything”
• Green flag: “Our CEO once said, ‘I messed up’—and meant it”

5. What’s the fastest way to get promoted here?
Meritocracy Check

• Red flag: “Be mates with the VP” or “Never challenge anything”
• Green flag: “Consistently exceed these performance markers—everyone knows the standard”

6. Do you feel pressure to work outside your contracted hours?
Boundary Check

• Red flag: “It’s expected, unofficially—otherwise you’re not seen as committed”
• Green flag: “Only during actual emergencies, which are rare”

7. If you quit tomorrow, what would HR say in a reference?
Retaliation Fear Check

• Red flag: “They’d slate me for leaving”
• Green flag: “They’d stick to the facts—dates, role, duties”

8. What happens when someone challenges the status quo?
Innovation Check

• Red flag: “They get sidelined or quietly pushed out”
• Green flag: “They get heard—even if it doesn’t lead to immediate change”

9. Describe your manager’s emotional state in one word.
Stability Check

• Red flag: “Volatile”, “Unpredictable”, “Walking on eggshells”
• Green flag: “Consistent”, “Calm”, “Measured”

10. Would you want to work with your current manager again?
The Ultimate Test

• Red flag: Silence. Nervous laughter. “Absolutely not.”
• Green flag: “In a heartbeat—here’s why”

These questions don’t just measure culture. They expose it.

If the answers make you uncomfortable, don’t dismiss them. That discomfort is the starting point for real change

The Uncomfortable Truth

Most organisations don’t actually want these answers. Because fixing the results requires:

• Demoting high-performing prats
• Admitting executive failures
• Sharing real power

But for the few leaders brave enough to ask—and act—this is how you stop the bleed of your best people.

Conclusion: You Deserve Better

Toxic workplaces thrive in silence. But whether you’re an employee reclaiming your sanity or a leader cleaning up a broken culture, change starts with naming the problem—then taking deliberate steps to fix it.

If you take one thing away: Life’s too short to hate where you spend 40+ hours a week. Whether it’s setting boundaries, demanding accountability, or walking away—you have options.